Welcome to this series on Self-Healing. I hope you find the readings thought-provoking and inspiring. Please enjoy.
Do some people wonder why their life is a constant struggle? They cannot figure out why they cannot get ahead in life. It could be because of the yoke that is dragging them down.
A yoke is a wooden beam that is put around the neck of an ox (or between a pair of oxen) to control the animal. It limits its movement and controls its freedom. If the ox starts to get off course, the yoke is used to pull it back. The ox is known to be strong and powerful, yet this simple and small yoke can keep the ox from doing what it wants to do.
Some people may not recognize that they may be living with a yoke around their neck.
Negative words that were spoken by critical people over you can become a yoke.
They will say things like: “You cannot succeed. Do not waste your time pursuing your lofty dreams.”
“You are not as good as the professionals; you do not have what it takes.” It plays again and again. That you begin to believe them and choose not to move forward or step up to your greatness.
That is a yoke.
When I was a few months away from taking my ‘O’ Levels, a close relation of mine told me that I need not be studying too hard because in his opinion I will get ‘D’ and an ‘E’ for my exams. He thinks I am ‘slow and stupid’ and only capable of getting straight ‘D and E’. Having grades D and E’ equate to failure because that is below the passing grade.
As a teenager, hearing those labels, really hurt my self-esteem. Most people do not realize how detrimental negative labels can be; I began to believe that I couldn’t achieve good grades for my exams. Hurtful memories can stifle your development and growth. How do we grow and develop beyond hurtful words that take root in our subconscious and influence our lives? How do we break free from this negative mental conditioning?
To rid yourself of these emotions, put them in a perspective that is positive rather than negative and let go of their roots in your subconscious. I know it is not easy, personally, I had to struggle with these emotions.
It took me a while to realize that someone else’s opinion of me did not matter, what people thought of me was not important. What was important was how I perceived myself.
Here are a few things I did to cope with my negative emotions.
1) I reframed those negative labels.
I see ‘D and E’ results as ‘Distinctions and Excellence’ so I worked harder. It focuses my mind on a goal that served me much better than constantly thinking about failure.
Another example, when someone calls me FAT, I reframed it as being ‘Fabulous, Awesome and Terrific’! That is exactly how God created us to be!
2) Keep busy.
It is said ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop’. It is important to be engaged in some activities. Instead of brooding over negative remarks, I choose to listen to motivational audio CDs and read positive books. It helps to motivate and encourage.
3) Be childlike.
Take a child’s approach to life, which assumes no limitations at all. Little children enthusiastically do things without knowing that they are not supposed to be able to do them. In their minds, they only see possibilities.
4) Forgiveness
Forgive yourself. Forgive those who have hurt you. Give yourself self-approval and permission to move on. Focus your energy in believing in yourself. Eliminate thoughts of self-loathing and unworthiness.
5) Live life on your own terms and live-in freedom.
Don’t go around allowing negative people to stop you from achieving your dreams.
Break free from the yoke of limitations. Find something you love to do and pursue it with all your heart. Determine to live life on your own terms and live-in freedom.
I believe that each of us came here with something to give the world. Each of us has unique special gifts to offer. There are no limitations to what you can do or be. Do not allow naysayers to put a limitation on you. Move forward in VICTORY and create your own destiny!
To your success and happiness
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Nick Thorne is the founder of Nick’s Digital Solutions Limited. He lives in Levin, New Zealand.